Problem or opportunity?

It's too easy for most of us to entertain negative thoughts without even realizing it. When someone is laid off from their job, the default assumption from others as well as the person let go is that this a “negative” event. Is it? It’s even a bit radical for me to question this.

I see a critical step in making a successful transition as reframing your situation as an opportunity to create/find more rewarding and perfectly fitting work, rather than as a problem to be solved.

You don't have to read much in the field of Positive Psychology (though I recommend you do!) to hear optimism and a positive outlook described as more or less learned behavior, since in our society we've all received so much unrecognized conditioning in jumping to negative assumptions and beliefs.

With all due respect to the fact that people prefer to change than be changed, nine times out of ten after a layoff, with help the individual can pull back and easily describe a much more fulfilling fit than what they just left. An extreme example is a client who felt she would "never find a better job," but when asked, admitted she would be happier without the 3-hour per day commute her current job entailed.

Often what is really getting under the person's craw is that they didn’t call it and leave on their own before they were exited. Kind of like the person you’re too good to be dating breaking up with you first.

When that resentment takes hold I've seen a job seeker proudly display a victim badge and drag an anchor of unfinished business everywhere they go - which is not in any way attractive to a next employer.

What really needs to happen is for the person to let go, move on, and focus on their future. I am a huge proponent of self-applied cognitive behavioral therapy, or simply, training ourselves to think about our thoughts and "recognize and replace" negativity with positive.

Some will say, aha – the law of attraction. OK. Whatever hook puts you in the driver’s seat of your condition works for me. Just remember that it takes diligence, practice, and patience, rather than being a one-time quick fix:

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar