The light bulb

My favorite joke that is not: How many psychologists (or career coaches) does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

If you are stuck and find that you just can't change a situation that you say you want to change, I'd suggest taking an honest and thoughtful look at what you might be getting out of keeping things the way the are.

You may not be able to impact outward change, but you can always change how you are choosing to view your situation.

Wherever you go,

there you are.

The title of one of the books I’m currently reading, (about mindfulness meditation in daily life) but also a perfect description of the process of being fully in the moment to experience what currently is. My last week needed my full attention, so there was no blog.

It was an adult growth spurt of sorts – not all pleasant, but wonderful through the rear-view mirror.

"The young man knows the rules, the old man knows the exceptions." – Oliver Wendell Holmes.

I also celebrated a birthday. A year older, maybe a little wiser to see exceptions in with the rules. Also a fabulous time to share gratitudes and set goals for the coming year.

A break in the routine, appearing to be of your own chosing or not, is a gift. Fully focusing on the present can be just what is needed to revitalize and rejuvenate toward creating the future you most want.

Choice

If we can change our thoughts, we can change the world. - H.M. Tomlinson

Where does the time go?

There's a saying that work expands to fill time. I frequently hear from clients who are between jobs that life - or "outside of work" work, also expands to fill their time. Suddenly the morning has passed and the laundry and dishes are done, but you still have those emails to answer and new job postings to review.

Trap #1: doing all the things you never had time for when you were working, like building that new deck yourself.

Trap # 2: the honey-do list. I confess that even knowing better, as a spouse I am guilty as charged. It is wonderful to come home to a clean sink and a home-cooked meal. Both help you forget that your spouse has as much important work to do as you do each day (but thank you Scott for picking up my shoes from the cobbler!).

Kudos to a certain client who will see herself in what follows: the best approach is to instill discipline and a schedule. Above all keep getting up - and getting dressed - at the same time every day. It's a great time to start a new, productive habit, like a first-thing in the morning exercise regimen.

Make a commitment to yourself that you will spend "X" amount of time each day on your job search, and do it next, before any of the things you would have put off until after work if you were working full time. If you are unemployed, finding that next great job IS your job. Where you need to, remind your spouse that you have a job that also comes first.

"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the nobler art of leaving things undone... The wisdom of life consists of elimination of the nonessentials." - Lin Yutang

The good news about time management is that once you've done what you need to do, you too can relax in the evenings. You've done your work for the day, just like your spouse.

Courage

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

"I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven't." - Lucille Ball

It takes courage to honor commitments we make to ourselves. And they are among the most important commitments to keep.

The gift of today

"The days come and go like muffled and veiled figures sent from a distant friendly party, but they say nothing, and if we do not use the gifts they bring, they carry them silently away." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

An escape pod

I’m an eternal optimist. But I also believe in being prepared. I think everyone with a job should keep a “victory file” of their accomplishments, success stories, kudos and thank you’s, and periodically update their resume whether they are looking for a new position or not.

"The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining." – John F. Kennedy

The best job in the world for you can turn on a dime with new management, clients, processes, goals, or any one of an infinite number of other changes. When you first notice that your job is not all you hope, build an “escape pod.”

With an up-to-date resume you’ll feel better even if you don't leave, because you’ll remember you have choice. And should you happen to hear of an amazing opportunity, you’re not fighting against time to pull your resume together.

I had a client whose job had slid down that slippery slope to where she felt completely taken advantage of: overworked and underpaid. Before she did anything else we crafted a sterling new resume that highlighted her contributions – which were enormous.

The document gave her a newfound confidence and the data to back it up, which she used to have a very straightforward discussion with her boss about the situation. He agreed, and she received a huge raise as well as much needed resources for her team! She’s still with the same employer, more productive than ever – and now feels that her contribution is valued.

Last year I worked with a client who was under a lot of pressure to learn a new skill set at work. We took a two-pronged approach; we worked directly on coping strategies and skill development, but also built an escape pod in the form of a new, up-to-date resume that he would be proud to send out on a moment’s notice. You could physically see the stress leave his face and body.

He hasn't changed jobs either, but both knowing he could, and seeing on paper how far he had already come helped him develop a renewed vigor for challenging himself. He’s happy again.

If you’re not as happy as you want to be in your job, it’s time to get your resume in order. It doesn't mean you're going to leave. It means you care about yourself and your happiness enough to take periodic inventory of your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself what a catch you are.

"The most delightful surprise in life is to suddenly recognize your own worth." - Maxwell Maltz, Surgeon

Just show up

"Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all." – Sam Ewing

I owe both my love of coffee and my work ethic to farm labor. Growing up in Walla Walla, (famous for produce long before it was famous for wineries) I had harvest-related summer jobs. They always started as early as possible, thanks to the sweltering heat – and I learned to start the coffee pot even earlier.

I earned money for college driving a pea combine and a wheat truck. Green pea season was fast and furious: the combines ran 24 hours per day on two back-to-back shifts, 6:00am-6:00pm, and 6:00pm-6:00am. We each got a day off every three weeks whether we needed it or not. I worked days, getting up as early as 3:30 to pack lunch, a gallon of ice water, and various other necessities, and catch my carpool to the field. We'd drive for up to an hour and a half, off the clock, into the Blue Mountains for our 6:00 am start time.

When you work an opposite shift you form a special bond with your counterpart; my relief driver was a sight for sore eyes arriving at 6:00 pm. If he was late, I had to stay. We’d exchange information on how “she” was running; I drove a yellow Chisholm - Ryder with frequent hydraulic leveling abnormalities. But that’s another story.

It was good work, even at minimum wage (we’d joke that it seemed like more, with no time to spend it!) and many people wanted it. It was far better than the processing line jobs inside the pea factory: I got to be out in the great outdoors all day, albeit after a long commute, covered with incessant chaff, dust, (and one notorious year, disgusting "looper" catepillars) in 100+ degree heat and frequently on steep terrain.

Steering my gi-normous rig from the top catwalk with a long stick - at a whopping three miles per hour - I’d sing along with my radio headphones, enjoying the sunshine, fresh peavine-scented air and sweeping views.

I remember an epiphany moment like it was yesterday; I was singing along with Joe Walsh at the top of my lungs. (On a pea combine no one can hear you scream!) “Life’s been good to me so far.” Not good - it was perfect.

The trade off was learning how to get up early and be ready for the carpool, with everything I'd need in a 12 hour day. There was a strict one-strike-you’re-out policy that I never challenged. I wasn't a morning person, but I wanted it so bad I just made it happen.

Fresh out of college with a Bachelor’s in Organizational Psychology, of course I was hired at Boeing as a Drafter. On my first day my first supervisor said if I followed two pieces of advice, I'd do just fine: 1. Show up. (aughh, for another 6:00 am start time!) 2. Always put the maximum possible in your 401(k).

At first I thought it was a joke, but these pearls of wisdom have stuck with me.

• Show up – I’ve come to realize that not everyone had the same training on this one;
• Put money away – manage your own destiny and plan for your future.
  

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” - Jim Rohn

By the way, back to driving a pea combine:

"All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." – Martin Luther King Jr.

Another golden rule

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. - Sonya Friedman

It's easy to beat yourself up when you're between jobs. When you go through a rough patch and your confidence wanes, remember to talk to yourself gently, as you would your very best friend if they were having your experience.

If you must engage in negativity, set an egg timer for 10 minutes. Then wallow in self-pity or worry to your heart's content. When the timer goes off, your opportunity to be negative is over for the day. Get back to work being optimistic and working hard to make your hopes come true.

Remembering Mom

This is the fourth Mother’s Day that I can’t pick up the phone or book a flight to tell my mother “thank you” for how much she’s influenced me. I think of her all the time, but especially on “her” day. Just some of what I miss about my mom:

She always drove convertibles, and loved to have the top down on a sunny day. She loved football, and although she had her favorite teams, she would root for the underdog if any team got too far ahead – because a closer game is more interesting.

She loved entertaining, and when you arrived for a visit she would have placed fresh flowers in the guest room and a little “goodie” on each bed. I really miss my annual springtime trip with my sister Sandy to prep and plant my mom’s gardens for the year. She loved her gardens so much: especially California poppies (although they gave her a hard time), nasturtiums, sweet peas, pansies, lilies of the valley, her camellia and her lemon tree. She attracted hummingbirds and thrilled in seeing quail in her yard. She adored fresh, juicy tomatoes right from the vine, and enjoyed driving up to see her colorful and lush front garden among her neighbors “drier” landscaping.

Before I arrived for a visit, Mom would have circled all the movies in the paper that she wanted to see. She loved going to movies, a great steak, turkey sandwiches from Willy Bird and walnut prawns from the China Room. She loved to play bridge with her friends, volunteer with her Pi Phi sisters and support the Democratic party. All the years of not knowing who “Deep Throat” was, she would have smiled to find out that he lived in her own town. I envision her unaware of his identity, but rubbing shoulders in line next to him at the Rialto Theatre.

She had a bumper sticker on her car that read, “Superman Had Foster Parents.” On her bulletin board - packed with family pictures - was another that read, “Democracy is Not a Spectator Sport.”

My mom was a lovely, charming woman. She was witty and fun; a caring and wise advisor; a great friend and supporter. She was also fiercely independent. She had “pluck,” a dry sense of humor, and ever-present optimism. She loved life and fought a warrior's battle to enjoy it. Dealt some tough blows - including raising seven children alone, and later serious health issues that would have been too much for someone else - she never felt herself a victim.

She didn’t plan to have a career, but to provide for us kids, went to work as a Caseworker with the Department of Social and Health Services. Due to her natural leadership abilities, hard work, and compassion, she retired as a beloved DSHS Administrator for two counties.

When she lost her left leg to diabetes, she fought to regain her ability to walk with a prosthesis and walker, sending back a wheelchair provided to her. She had already fought and won a battle to stay living independently in her own home, which she loved.

She taught me by example to believe in myself and to persevere. Two of her favorite sayings that I smile when I find myself using: "this too shall pass" and "so be it."

She said the reason she went in the Navy rather than the Army, where her father was a Colonel, was that she “looked better in blue than green.” Only after her death did we discover papers indicating that she was too young to be accepted into the Army, but not the Navy, when she wanted to help during World War II.

My Mother loved to travel and had seen the world. On her 80th birthday the family met in Ashland to treat her to Shakespeare plays. The weekend was to be all about her, but she had put together bags of gifts for each of us, and delighted in reading a poem she had written about each of her offspring and the contents of their bag.

She left this world as she lived her life, on her own terms. Facing her impending death, she told me she was proud of the woman I’d become. She said she was happy that each of her children were in loving relationships, and she said, "I had a good run.” Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I miss you.

Getting through a slump

We’ve all had them – a period of time when even giving our best effort things don’t go our way. We just don’t get the results we’re used to or expect. For the person looking for a new job, it can damage self-confidence and even lead to feelings of hopelessness.

I heard an amazing statistic on the Mariners broadcast the other night. Yes, watching my beloved and currently slumping Mariners. Before Felix Hernandez even took the mound, former pitcher Bill Krueger said “I wonder how he’ll be if he doesn’t have his ‘A’ game today.” Then he explained that starting pitchers have 30 starts a year, and probably only have their most powerful stuff for 5 or 6 of them. The mark of a real champion is how they pitch in the other 25 games – where they can’t just dominate, but have to “chew up” innings staying out of trouble. They need to draw on resources beyond their obvious talent, as we all do at times.

I’m reminded of another often quoted baseball equation: that every team in the majors will win 60 games and lose 60 games. The difference between champions and losers any season is how each team plays their other 42 games that could go either way.

So much of baseball is mental preparation, belief and attitude – as is so much of winning the job game.

Learning from baseball, here’s my top ten strategies to work through a job search slump:

1. Check your expectations. Are you really in a slump, or are your expectations unrealistic? When I ask clients who say they are slumping to list how many positions they have missed, it’s almost always far fewer than it feels like. They may have only applied to 1 or 2 jobs, but “felt like a perfect match” for them. They are not in a slump. No matter who you are, it is an unrealistic expectation that you’ll get every job you apply for. There are just too many variables out of your control to let yourself feel let down if you don't defy odds that apply to everyone!

In many ways the job search is a numbers game. The timetable isn't a predictable 162 games, but it can be unrealistic to assume that in a typical season you need to play fewer games than others do to win. There's irony in the fact that preparing as if it will be 162 games can shorten your season more than playing every game as if it can be your last. Play all your games to the best of your ability, accept that you’ll have 60 wins and 60 losses - and know that giving your best will influence the 42 that can be swayed.

2. Set interim goals toward your objective. Knowing that no one wins them all, baseball teams set their goals at winning 2-4 game series, home stands and road trips. Set and stick to interim goals, like making a certain number of contacts per week or applying to a set number of jobs per day.

3. Take extra batting practice. Throw some mock interviews into your routine. Apply to a few more postings that you would normally bypass. I find that people frequently filter postings based on incorrect assumptions – and miss opportunity. You can always filter later - get in the game more by taking extra swings.

4. Brush up on your basics. Slumping hitters get coaching on their stance and timing, and review tapes of their best performances. Remind yourself of past successes to rebuild your confidence. Really re-read your resume, thank you’s and kudos. Visualize your wins and let your body remember what it feels like when you’re at your best and everything is going your way.

5. Don’t overanalyze. Don’t assume that everything you are doing is wrong. It’s easy to get buried in changing every detail - majoring in minors. Remember there are too many variables you can’t control to assume it’s any one thing. If you’ve had success with your resume in the past, don’t overhaul it – or worse yet, continually tweak it to the point where you don’t know which one was sent each time - just because you haven’t gotten interviews the last three times you’ve sent it in.

6. Shake it up. Instead of swapping out the whole roster, the Mariners move hitters around in the batting order a bit. Refresh rather than overhaul by tweaking a small thing or two. Pitchers go for location rather than power. If you’ve been relying mostly on networking, spend more time on postings. Or vice versa.

7. Give it a rest. Bench yourself for a day to break the pattern and refresh your attitude and thought process. Either really rest, or focus your attention somewhere else productive. I like to purge and organize.

8. Let off some steam. Ok, NOT in the same way Richie Sexson did the other night - directly at your opponent or anyone else. Maybe through rigorous exercise or screaming into a pillow. I like to pull weeds.

9. Remember that everyone slumps - even world champions. Maybe you’re right where you’re supposed to be. This one is hard, but if there was a lesson for you in your current situation, what would it be?

Sometimes we are doing everything right and need a reminder of patience, diligence, and investing for longer term rewards rather than expecting an immediate result. Sometimes we hold ourselves back from what we say we want, because deep down we know we really need to address something else in our life first.

10. Change coaches. For most people in a job search, this means quit attempting to coach yourself and add outside counsel to your team - to help you define and execute on the steps above and more.

Changing coaches might mean listening to and following the coaching being given. Mariner boo-birds are calling for Bill Bavasi’s and/or John McClaren’s removal. Savvy fans realize that it is the players that are not executing on the coaching being provided, so removing McClaren right now wouldn’t magically end the slump. Only the players can do that for themselves.

I have one more point: never stop believing. Go after your dreams and go M’s!

Potential

I've decided to start the week with some motivational quotes.

"The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good." - Brian Tracy

"Every man dies. Not every man lives. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tommorrow are the "buts" you use today." - Les Brown

"Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference." -- Nolan Bushnell

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus

In praise of LinkedIn

I debated whether my subject today was letting fear hold you back from getting what you want, or just singing the praises of LinkedIn. I have a lot more to say on another day about deferring to fear and making short sighted decisions, so I’ll come back to it another time.

LinkedIn has to be the best tool for career management out there. Notice I didn't say the best tool for changing jobs. A lot of people get the two confused.

I use Linkedin for many, many reasons. Among other things, to stay in touch with business partners and connections I may be able to refer work to, as well as current, former and future clients I may be able to refer jobs and companies to. I always suggest to clients, not just those that want to change jobs - that they do the same.

It is an easy and time-efficient way to stay in touch with and broaden your network - not necessarily when you want to make a job move. Some clients express fear that having a profile in LinkedIn will “out” them to their current employer as an active job seeker.

This is a short-sighted decision allowing fear and a scarcity mentality to hold them back from giving and receiving an amazing gift of ongoing connection. None of us can ever do our job alone. If they use LinkedIn to benefit their current employer and to give to their connections, their motivation would be a non-issue.

There are many, many reasons smart people use LinkedIn besides actively looking for a new job: networking regarding ongoing work issues including best practices, partnering opportunities, finding suppliers, subcontractors, customers, even getting back in touch with long lost friends, co-workers and schoolmates.

Almost without exception when clients want to make a job change they tell me they wish they had been better about developing and nurturing their network all along. My standard answer: it's never too late to start - but adopt it as a career management habit, not as a silver bullet for this job move.

If networking is a bank account many try to draw out more funds than they have deposited. LinkedIn is a great tool to make small deposits you’ll never miss, which grow exponentially. It’s a time efficient way to give to your network, rather than just trying to “use your network” when you want to receive.

Like any tool, how you use it can help steer toward the outcome you want. Only loading up a profile when you want to be rescued by a recruiter can look obvious to your current employer.

Connecting with other professionals inside and outside your company, recommending those you feel strongly about, and spending just a few minutes (of your own time) to forward questions, answers, and job postings someone else might be interested in is a great way to give back to your network – fyi, while also being searchable by recruiters.

Career Management is the long line of the music. It involves seeing abundance rather than scarcity. You know you have value and choice. It can be as simple as thinking about what makes you happy so that you notice and are ready to maximize those opportunities when they present themselves. At best it's also setting goals and taking actions that enable more opportunities that are to your liking to come your way.

Changing jobs is one note on your sheet of music. The best way to make a job change easy and even fun, ironically, is to adopt the long-term habit of career management. To set goals and continue to make tiny investments all along to the long line of your career, while you are holding each specific position.

If you are changing jobs, take the opportunity with this move to start new, long-term career management habits. Adopt a viewpoint of abundance over scarcity. It's never too late to start steering toward where you want to be next from where you are now.

p.s. unless you own your business, use a personal email address for your LinkedIn profile.