Resume rumors

In the last week I've had people tell me that they've heard these "facts":

1. Even at the most senior levels, a resume needs to be one page.
2. No resume should go beyond two pages.
3. Even at the most senior levels, you must write your resume yourself.
4. Resumes should be all paragraphs.
5. Resumes should be all bullets.
6. Resumes should have a clear objective.
7. Resumes shouldn't have an objective.
8. Resumes should always be in Times New Roman font.
9. Resumes should only use sans serif fonts.
10. You shouldn't use any "feminine" words like collaboration or facilitation.
11. You should only include content you did 100% by yourself.
12. You should never include your LinkedIn profile.

What other resume "facts" have you heard? Where are you getting your information?