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I wholeheartedly recommend this book. SWAY, the Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by Rom Brafman and Ori Brafman has something in it for every one of us. Including examples that are as powerful in their simplicity as in their consequences. Sways are defined as hidden psychological influences that derail our decision-making. They pull us into making decisions that later we wish we hadn't. I don't know an honest person who can't relate to falling under their influence at one time or another.Since so much of our identity is wrapped up in our work, the three main influences described in this book fit nicely as pitfalls to effective decision making during a job search. I could write my own book of examples that I've seen. Instead I'll give one or two quick illustrations for each concept. Note that an even stronger pull toward "flawed logic" happens when these influences compound each other. 1. Fear of Loss - playing not to lose instead of playing to win. Chasing losses. Trying to hang on to your place in an industry that has evolved beyond it; making your last salary or more your benchmark to compare every opportunity against, when job values go up and down just as housing values do. 2. Diagnosis Bias - seeing some information while completely disregarding other, possibly more relevant information. Dismissing a company out of hand (and giving up the opportunity to build relationships for later) if not offered the first position discussed with them. 3. Commitment - digging in your heels and disregarding further or different information. Trying to only use whatever method got you your last job, when hiring practices are constantly evolving at the speed of business and with new technologies. Especially if your last method was a recruiter, good luck with that plan this time around.
I work with a fair number of clients who for some reason or another feel beat up by their work situation, or lack of work, and are down on their confidence. It happens for any number of reasons including being underemployed. A huge gift anyone in that situation can give themselves is outside help writing their resume!
Working with a couple of clients in this situation reminded me of a passage from a book I quoted in a post over a year ago. It's true again today for at least two clients who've been asked to step up to the plate and consider "big girl" positions - truly worthy of their expansive skill sets. As excited as you can be to see yourself described to maximum potential in your new resume, there can also be some anxiousness about it. The words can all be true, but still require some adjustment when you haven't been seeing yourself in your glory lately. Sometimes you need to let your new resume sink in for a bit, so that you can "own" it and get used to talking from your strengths again.
This process is eloquently described in a passage titled, "Power," in a fabulous and odd little book: "The Book of Qualities" by J. Ruth Gendler. I dedicate this passage to both of my clients:
Power
"Power made me a coat. For a long time I kept it in the back of my closet. I didn't like to wear it much, but I always took good care of it. When I first started wearing it again, it smelled like mothballs. As I wore it more, it started fitting better, and stopped smelling like mothballs.
I was afraid if I wore the coat too much someone would want to take it or else I would accidentally leave it in the dojo dressing room. But it has my name on the label now, and it doesn't really fit anyone else. When people ask me where I found such a becoming garment, I tell them about the tailor, Power, who knows how to make coats that you grow into. First, you must find the courage to approach him and ask him to make your coat. Then, you must find the patience inside yourself to wear the coat until it fits."
I thought this cartoon from the New Yorker was a good summary for Interview Week. Going into any interview unprepared is essentially hoping the company makes their hiring decisions this way. Is that really where you want to work?Got a suggestion to gather up and publish a list of Worst Interviewer Behavior. If you have an example to share, please email me or comment with it.
It's been Interview Week for my blog. I've posted 10 Interview Do's and 10 Interview Don'ts. Today's Interview Worsts is about behavior that is so wrong that not only does it severely hamper the candidate’s chances of moving forward, but the legend of it gets passed around the water cooler. You do not want to be remembered as "the candidate that…”
I’ve seen a number of these lists, and have wondered if the stories get a little richer each time they are shared. That’s why it was important for me to only list behavior I have personally witnessed, plus a select few that I heard first hand from the person who witnessed it.
10 was not enough. Therefore I give you my 16 Interview Worsts:
1. Candidate was told her interview would be 1/2 hour with 7 questions. After 22 minutes we stopped her midstream still answering the first question, “Tell me about yourself.”
2. When asked if he had any questions, Candidate replied: “How much time off can I have, and how soon can I have it, because I’m in a really ugly custody battle with my ex-wife who is fighting me for my daughter, and I need to be in court a lot right now.”
3. Candidate left and the Office Administrator came in and closed the door. She said, “Tell me you’re not considering hiring that jerk!” I asked why: “He may have been nice to you, because you’re the boss, but he treated me like ----!”
4. A client had a double-group interview; a panel of 3 interviewers asking questions of 4 candidates. When asked to describe their proudest accomplishment, my client was floored by another candidate’s answer: “Suing my former employer and winning.”
5. Candidate came in, sat down, and proceeded to loudly open a can of soda he had brought to the interview.
6. Candidate brought her writing portfolio. Going through samples of her work, without any notice the content changed to very provocative pictures of her. She shared that she also models a bit.
7. Candidate wore such a plunging neckline that a male interviewer reported afterward not remembering anything about her other than how uncomfortable he was the whole time as he recited to himself, “Look at her eyes. Look at her eyes. Look at her eyes.”
8. Candidate asked how long she would have to, “stick around the front desk,” before being promoted.
9. Candidate asked how soon he could expect a salary increase.
10. Candidate asked if the company reimbursed tuition, and if so, could an exception be made to pay upfront before the one year employment requirement.
11. Candidate repeatedly told the hiring manager, a male friend of mine, how hard she is willing to work, and how late of hours, and that she would do just anything to get ahead… while he slowly came to the realization that he was being propositioned.
12. New college grad asked for an informational, and was told that the firm was not currently hiring in any positions. She came in, handed over her resume, and sat without a word.
13. Candidate described what a jerk their last boss was. And the one before that…
14. Candidate lamented how she was unable to meet any available men in Seattle.
15. Candidate seemed irritated to have to interview at all and claimed to be practically best friends with the CEO. Who it turns out had never met him before.
16. And finally, Candidate redefined TMI – Too Much Information - by providing a link to an online portfolio of her work. Her creative work was completely integrated with an extremely personal blog, which in pictures and words chronicled her drug and alcohol addictions, family issues, financial crises, health challenges, depressive and suicidal episodes and religious conversion.
Interview Don'ts:
1. DON'T: complain about your drive time or where you had to park.
2. DON'T: EVER bash or speak negatively about anyone, anything or any situation!
3. DON'T: come unprepared. Do know your resume backward and forward, think through what you would contribute in the position with this organization, and have some relevant examples of your previous work ready to share.
4. DON'T: ask questions that are about what's in it for you. Questions related to benefits, etc., belong down the road if/when you and the interviewer are clearly "in like" with each other.
5. DON'T: get too relaxed bonding with the interviewer that you lose sight of the nature of the interview. Don't get off track and provide TMI - too much information.
6. DON'T: finish any sentence that starts with, "I wouldn't normally say this in an interview, but..."
7. DON'T: give long, drawn out, rambling answers that don't really address the question that was asked. Be concise and to the point.
8. DON'T: say you have no questions, or save them all for the end of your interview. Come with content-focused questions and ask them as they are relevant to what your interviewer just asked you.
9. DON'T: ask questions about who reports to whom, and who you would work directly for, in a group interview. It wastes everyone's time, makes you look politically motivated, and will turn at least one person in the room against you.
10. DON'T: lose track of time and ride out a good conversation that goes beyond the amount of time you were told the interview would last. Be respectful of the interviewer's time. Note that you're aware that your time is almost over and ask your interviewer if they have time to continue the discussion.
Tomorrow - Interview Hall of Shame: 10 Most Outrageous Interview Don'ts.
Interviewing Do's:
1. DO: show up on time. I think 5-8 minutes early is perfect. Sooner is cutting it too close, 10 minutes too early can look over-eager and catch people off guard, before they are ready to meet with you.
2. DO: give a warm handshake and make direct eye contact as you introduce yourself by name. (your interviewer will appreciate you pronouncing it correctly).
3. DO: dress professionally, even in the most casual environment. You haven't yet earned the right to dress quite as casually as those who work there.
4. DO: manage all possible distractions. Examples: playing with your hair, fiddling with a pen, your cell phone ringing or vibrating, smelling like a cigarette you just smoked outside the building to calm down...
5. DO: thorough research on the organization and the position.
6. DO: bring questions focused on the work itself and your potential role.
7. DO: stay positive and optimistic. About everyone and everything, period.
8. DO: pay attention to time and don't wear out your welcome.
9. DO: wrap up with why you think you'd be a good match for the position near the end of the meeting.
10. DO: thank others (including HR) for their time. Always. Tomorrow: 10 Interview Don'ts.
Note: reading this post back, I see it as more of a "lifestream" entry than one of my more content or opinion-oriented posts. Read on for the irony in this.If you've been following my blog (or even popping in occasionally) for any time now, you've probably noticed that recently my frequency of posting has changed. For the first year I posted five times per week, Monday through Friday. It was a nice framework within which to establish a new habit. Lately I've skipped some days here and there, and feel just fine about it. It's interesting to me to observe myself on this one. I find myself driven to post here a little less often, and I think one of the reasons is that I am now also enjoying Twitter so much. My daily - more random - thoughts have been going out 140 characters at a time (and sometimes on Facebook, depending on the nature of the content and who I chose to share it with.) Either way I find myself turning toward my blog when I know I can't do justice to a career or job search topic, possibly of interest to anyone out there, that briefly. I like building lists here, and I think I will continue to do so.There's a lot of talk among the big important trend-setting bloggers that blogging is now old fashioned and that "lifestreams" are the next big format. Some of the most famous bloggers have "quit blogging." I might try a site like Posterous, the apparent darling of those in the know, or not. If I open yet another avenue for self-expression my quiet little blog will also stay just where it is, hopefully helping those who find it, enjoy it, and come back to see what's new.My friends give me grief for loving my latest generation Blackberry Curve instead of following the crowd to an iPhone. And voraciously reading books printed on paper rather than using a Kindle. (I even prefer hardbacks, as they hold up better in my lending library...) So maybe I am a bit old fashioned to be blogging in a lifestream world.
To quote @donbart on Twitter: "Don't think I'm cool enough to lifestream...guess I'll just plug along with blogging and the rest"
I wholeheartedly recommend this book. SWAY, the Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by Rom Brafman and Ori Brafman has something in it for every one of us. Including examples that are as powerful in their simplicity as in their consequences. 
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